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User blog:Skyli9e/Iron Wardens: Unofficial Storyline
40 year old fat men pretending to be ladies, and gentlemen.. I give you my rendition of the storyline for this week, in lieu of something better.. When Frankie Diemberger was just a wee 3*, he met a girl named Ryann Hypnos. He soon fell in love with her, and she with him. Their love flourished, and they were together for many years, well in to 4/5*hood.. Then one day, as they were both training for the scythe portion of the 53rd annual Arnashian-Alumni Weapon Skills Competition(Brought to you by Charleston Chew) It was brought to their attention that Ryann had been mistakenly put into the mens category, and was slotted to compete AGAINST her beloved Frankie. This would not do, for either of our young couple and as Ryann read over the letter again, and again- with eyes peeling apart every word in search of explaination, she finally thew down the letter and exclaimed: "Why would they possibly put me in the Mens category?!? this makes like NO sense!" To which Frankie then replied: "Well babe, you do KINDA have a guy's name..." With eyes ablaze, a now infuriated Ryann spread her wings wide and bitch-slapped Frankie, then yelling at him she said: "You listen here, Fancy-Frankie you pointy eared little fist f*cker, I'm sick of your sh*t and for the last time RYANN CAN BE A GIRLS NAME TOO!!!" and with that, she picked up her scythe and flew away, in search of a way to be taken seriously. From that day on, a shattered Frankie Diemberger, vowed he'd never love another, nor let anyone call him a fist f*cker again, and dropped his first name. Just in time to carve his legacy, and name across the anals of Arnashian history as tell of the great weaponmaster "Diemberger" soon swept across the land.. Meanwhile, hours after the incident, Ryann was getting tired, and decided to land to take a rest. During her descent she noticed a tall young man playing with what appeared to be little floating basketballs in the field near her. As she came to a landing, she realized those weren't basketballs.. they were Demons! She gulped as the demons started circling her. The man the turned and walked toward her, with a wicked, twisted smile breaking across his otherwise emotionless visage. "You are lost" He cooed at our now terrified protagonist, "You lack guidance" He jeered as she trembled, "..and now, it seems.. you lack a home" She stared at him, feeling as if he was looking into her very soul. "Who.. are you?" was all she managed to ask. "My Name is Zepar The Blood Attuned, and I can make all of your wishes come true.. for a price." "A price!?" She gasped. "What price?" "Merely an opportunity to see life through your eyes.. and a shot at dat sweet champion ass, for me AND my friends" The demons then snickered as she struggled to respond, as she was clearly taken aback. "Fine, she said, but I want to be the strongest, fastest, and most competent scythe wielding warrior this land has ever known! but I don't want anyone to know my real name. EVER." "You will not be disappointed" He said, and with that she dropped her name, and they dipped behind nearby barn to seal the deal. Word traveled fast, and as both Hypnos and Diemberger became household names, a bitter rivalry brewed between them. Striving for fame, and determined to be the best they BOTH continued their training. Ascending well beyond the abilities of average beings it became apparent that their rivalry would border on that of legend, as the mere clash of their blades would shatter man and mountain alike. But Hypnos' actions were plagued with evil and eventually she became known as bloodthirsty, as her disregard for life was as apparent as the bloody trail of death and decay she left in her wake. Eventually it was humble Havers who talked Diemberger into confronting and defeating Hypnos once and for all for the betterment of Arnashia. After Many years of searching, Diemberger finally got his opportunity, atop a burning mound of rock and bone, inside the core of a gigantic active volcano, He confronted the fallen champion, and challenged her to one last battle to decide the fate of Arnashia. During the epic battle, both the Legendary 5* commanders slashed and dodged as their colossal scythes tore the very fabric of time apart with every missed swing. As the battle raged, Hypnos slowly started to get the edge, and before long Diemberger was inches from being thrown into the vast pit of molten magma, bubbling vigorously below them. Taking his scythe in one hand, he then threw his sword up in the air and Shouted: "End it now, you heartless wretch, spill my blood and plunge this world into the same eternal darkness that you sent my heart into all those years ago. I fear not death, but embrace it, for not until we die, do we truly live.." Well, for the first time in almost as many years, Hypnos cracked a smile, and replied "You never were worthy of my love, or anyone's love for that matter. You will die alone and be forgotten quickly.. Frankie fist-f*cker" She then swung her scythe with every ounce of her being, in a perfect, lightning-fast swing. As her blade descended upon the now-vulnerable warrior, he felt a new power flow through him like nothing he'd ever known, and before her scythe could land it's fatal blow, his sword landed front and center, knocking her scythe away, he then took the opportunity and let out one last massive swing of his own scythe, and felled the dark champion, once and for all. As Hypnos fell to her knees, instead of blood a strange, black, tar-like liquid started flowing out of her wounds. As she sat there, more and more came out and slowly started taking the form of a tall man.. Before long, in front of a now perplexed Diemberger stood none other than Zepar: The Blood Anointed. "You may have ruined my plans to destroy Arnashia" He grimaced "But fate is a double edged sword on this day, for you have also felled the only person you ever cared about, she was never more than my thrall, a mere pawn in my game, a sweet, supple pawn of destruction. Worry not, however; as in her place others will rise, exceeding her abilities, and eventually your own. On that day, your precious world will crumble and burn around you, and you will be helpless to stop it." With that, Zepar dissipated into smoke and through the winds he howled: "Till next we meet, Diemberger!" At that point a now stunned Diemberger heard a small cough, as her turned around there lay a severely wounded Hypnos.. "Frankie.. Come here.." she beckoned to him. He approached her, and took a knee. "What is it?" "I'm.. so... sorry" she managed to spit out, between lung-fulls of blood. "It not your fault" he replied, as a sharp smile crossed his lips "besides, I'd have done the same, if I was a girl with a boy's name..." The End. Category:Blog posts